It's so nice to be able to write to you again. We are finally getting some sleep (just since this past weekend Gus started to sleep through the night - some of the nights) and we feel sane again. It's amazing how 6 straight hours of sleep can make you feel normal.
I'll do my best to sum up all of the things going on with Gus. Since coming home, Gus has been adjusting to all of us, our noise (or lack of), and the new environment. The first few weeks were rough. After that, he's relaxed a lot. In fact, he relaxed too much. Matt and I were worried because he was limp almost all of the time. I spoke to the doctor overseeing his therapy drugs and he reduced the amount of Baclofen 25% last week. [Baclofen is an antispasticity drug that they used for Gus because of his inability to control the over-reactions of his muscles. It apparently does not affect cognitive development but does over-relax the muscles. Taking him off of this is a huge step forward.] The past few days was similar to watching Gus come off of morphine except that instead of his mind waking up, it was his body. He started to move more, sleep better, and tolerate new things even better. He started to swallow easier as well (we are now giving him very small tastes of applesauce each time he is hungry and he wants more and more).
Last week, Gus also received shots of Botox in his arms to relax them. Already, we are able to completely straighten them and do even more therapy with him.
The greatest thing for me was last night: I came inside the house and sat down beside him while he was looking at his Aunt Deborah. I said hi and he smiled. I didn't believe what I saw so I said it again and he smiled again at me! Not a half smile but the exact same smile he always had - big and happy. This is the first smile in response to anything. He's only smiled in his sleep so far (and then it was only a half-smile). I cried a lot after that. I felt as though God was truly giving my son back to me. Ah, that God is so good to us yet who are we but as dust? His love is amazing.
Thank you for remembering us, esther
Hi. I'm Jon Horsman's sister, Debie. I met Matt at Jon's wedding many moons ago. I've read your blog many, many times over the last months. Thought I'd share your joy with you about that smile...I'm crying as I write. It's funny how tears equal joy, extreme joy. Sometimes people don't understand how important and miraculous such things are. That smile is beyond words. ...I'll leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteThe playlist on your blog has made a difference in my spirit, as has your journey, and your authentic processing of everything. Thank you for giving of yourselves, even during this.
I'll keep reading...and praying.
Hi Matt and Esther,
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled upon your blog for the first time and want to extend our hearts to you after reading this entry and a bit of your baby's story. I am so sorry to hear of all that has happened to Gus--what a heart-breaking journey you've been on--yet I am happy that you are seeing God's faithfulness as expressed in this update. I will pray for your sweet boy for a full recovery.
Love,
Shari
Thank you for posting this. Reading the news brought me to tears. I have been following your family and Gus's path through God and this truly made me cry tears of JOY. Hearing that he smiled, truly smiled made my heart fill with joy. I have to honestly say this picture you posted of him is the most his eyes looked ALIVE since all of this happened. THANK YOU GOD!! This just shows you the wonderful power our father in Heaven holds and that he has something wonderful for Gus in life to come.
ReplyDeleteThank you God...And thank you Esther for keeping us up to date, this means a lot..
God bless you little Fergus. We love you all.
Your ears must be ringing...I was just talking about you and Fergus this morning. We had a department get together for the JESUS Film Project and a few of the people really praying for Fergus asked about him and it had been a while. I tell them that the hospital said he would be with them much longer and Jesus busted him loose.....preying every single day He continues to do that with Fergus' development.
ReplyDeleteAmazing love!!!
ReplyDeletewe are soooo excited. The Lord knows how much a smile means!!!
Thank you for sharing, Love to all.
Matt & Fran
Before I even read your post, my heart rejoiced seeing Fergus' picture. The "light" is back in eyes. I cried with you when I read that smiled (how that must have blessed your heart)! Even though I don't know him, I missed that precious smile from his pre-accident pictures. We Praise God for His care and provison for all of you throughout this difficult time, and we pray that all the honor and glory will be given to Him for the miracle that He has wrought!
ReplyDeleteIn His Love, Marie Burns
This has been the very thing that I have most prayed for! His smile. Oh, how you needed to see that smile! I praise God for this beautiful, amazing answer to prayer! Esther, thank you so much for being faithful to share your journey with us. God has honored all of us with a glimpse of His healing grace upon Fergus! This should give us tremendous hope for the future, not only for the healing in Fergus' body, but in each of ours as well! Let's not stop praying and giving thanks to our Father!
ReplyDelete~debbie :)
Oh! To look at his seeing, knowing, happy eyes causes my heart to rejoice as nothing else has!
ReplyDelete~debbie :)
Wow. That is so beautiful and joyous to know! Praise Jesus! Give hugs and kisses to all yours from all of us! We love and miss you guys! Love, Rachel,Frank,Jarod and Conrad
ReplyDeleteHi Esther. I love you and wanted you to know that we are still praying for your family. I am so happy to hear the great update. I am also thankful that you are finally able to get some sleep. Much love, Kelli Craver Jones- your cousin
ReplyDeleteDear Esther and family,
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting when you can. We are still praying for Fergus. I'm so glad that you are getting into a routine at home. My specific prayer is that Gus learn to crawl.Go Fergus!and Go God! Thanks for the blessed news of those smiles.
Lots of Love to you,
Russ and Joy
Hi Esther and Matt, it is Tracy and Mark Peterkins. Bless you guys. You have shown great courage and faith. May the Lord continue to heal Fergus and bless you and your family with peace and strength. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis is so amazing to read. I cried too, reading about his smile. Love you guys and continuing to pray.
ReplyDelete- Renee
ESTHER!!! Hey there Love, it's Cinnamon. I've spent years trying to track you and your parents down - hoping for an update on you and your family, and to give you an update of my own. I'm so glad to have found this blog to get even just a little update of your life, as heartbreaking and yet joyful as it all is. I hope to hear back from you soon. My email is howdyyep@gmail.com.
ReplyDelete